Lately it seems like the circle of circumstance has come to the forefront yet again. Sometimes I feel burned out on life; unhappy with my present, distant from my past and unsure of my future. I remember when I turned 25 a few years ago. I was bent on making for myself a five-year plan. It wasn't long, drawn out or detailed. It was a short list of goals I wanted for myself by the time I reached 30. There were items on my list that included buying my first home, getting married, obtaining a Master's degree, etc. And while those things are great goals to strive towards; in the present state of my life, I've found it hard to look to the next 5 years.
The last year of my life has been a transition period. The last few weeks I've looked at that transition as a sort of grinding exercise: painful but necessary. I've been working a temporary assignment for the last 4 months, unrelated to any work I've done in the past or care to do in the future. I've found that the time I spend at this job eats of the precious time I could spend on things more God-focused including writing on my novel, studying or brainstorming of the many passions God has placed in my heart but I have yet to pursue. I struggle to get up for work every day. I literally thank God at 4:30 p.m. each evening for allowing me the strength, willpower, brain power and tenacity to stay with a job that is a speed bump along me journey. Then I ask myself, is it really a speed bump? Or, is it really just a part of my testimony? Ultimately, yes. I'm learning that the scripture is really true...all things work together for my good.
My boyfriend has encouraged me to pour more into God if I want more out of Him. And he's right (and amazing :) It's not always about you, but always, always, ALWAYS about God. So now I'm learning to pour out instead of trying to pull in. God is always chasing after me but do I really chase after Him? Or am I too focused dwelling on my own insecurities and uncertainties to see the work He is trying to do in my life? I’ve learned a new revelation on what submission means. It means to yield to authority. And because God's authority is far greater than any knowledge I possess, submission is necessary. I'm learning to defer to God in all things. My clarity comes when I submit to Him. Confusion comes when I submit to my own will. I'll ride with God on this...and all things that follow.
Tonight's reflection: Grateful
Well said. Your struggle is one that we all been through or are going to go through. One thing I've learned is that we don't have to chase God because He's not running. He is waiting for us all to get the same revelation you just received. Now watch Him work!
ReplyDeleteIt's always ironic how God does things in an opposite way we expect. He tells us to humble ourselves to be exalted, to lose our lives to find it, and give and it will be given. This post in encouraging to remind us that God doesn't think like us, but he thinks like Him which is way better. Thanks for sharing, keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteSo true...God is amazing because He's so multi-faceted. When we think we're losing, it's a reminder to go deeper in Him. Glad you enjoyed! Monique, I'm ready for Him to work! ;)
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